Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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