oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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