How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So apparently I’m into choking now
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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