My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Your topless pictures make me question reality
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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