We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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