Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize