she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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