ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
