at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
