I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
There's even glitter on my cock...
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