we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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