No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I look better un-naked...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
