he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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