i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
