I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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