Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
