i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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