If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
