his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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