Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
