I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This is the high leading the old right now
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
