his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
