Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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