Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
