I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
