I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
