im holly from the hills drunk
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Randomize
