Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize