No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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