it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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