if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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