why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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