ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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