shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
