I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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