I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
