i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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