I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
