I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
