Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
