Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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