the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
