MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
