then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
