dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
