Duck Duck Cougar?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
