Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
