is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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