Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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