I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I pour the whiskey from now on
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
