My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
