No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
