He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize