just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
