remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
