Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
