shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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