the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
